CoCo Chanel.

I just saw the film documenting the famed designers life.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
She is such an inspiration.
I really feel everyone should see this film.
She worked until the day she died.
She was 71.
What a legacy it is that she created, and continues to exist today.
Such charm, elegance, poise, and defiance.
She embodies all the things that I admire.
I just wish she had been someone I could have known.
Worked with.
Regardless, I am so glad I purchased the film when I saw it.
I hope that even I do not create a legacy such as she did...that I too one day am able to accomplish my dreams.
Fashion is not an easy path.
But with perseverance I hope to succeed.
I am trembling in fear and anticipation for school.
I need to work on the designs for the scholarship.
But boy...I am at a standstill.
It must be big and concise.
Oh my nerves,

Anesthetics.

Things are very different now.
Very difficult.

They say as you get older you grow wiser.
So, I'm not sure why it is I feel weaker and more confused as time goes on.

I don't see what makes them think they are so wise anyway.
We all live the same lives.
We all voice the same cries of joy of sorrow.
But at the same time we consider everyone to live a completely different, separate life from the herd.
I don't think it's our situations that make up who we are.
Not our pasts.
Not our actions.
But how those actions are defined in the end.
How we view all those little pieces.
That is what defines our lives and our uniqueness.

My head hurts a lot these things.
Swirls of unformed thoughts, phrases, words, names, etc. overtake my mind.
I find reading difficult, I find working difficult.
I feel trapped in my head.
Who I am in here is not who I am out there.
What I am capable of in here, neither translates or actualises itself out there.

I am tired of the past.
I am tired of the future.
I can't even begin to acknowledge the present.
I'm tired of the silent throbbing in my head.

I wish I were an idiot.
They say idiots are the truly happy.
Nothing clouds their views, their minds are free to enjoy.

How you can enjoy what you do not comprehend is beyond me.
But it would be nice to feel at peace, for just a little while.

Oh baby, I think you are smoking~

Sometimes I think people have a tendency to forget that words are more powerful than the sword.
So to speak.
Sometimes is more often than it should be.
I think it is hard for us to understand what we are capable of.
What we can cause, not only through words but through our emotions, and the vibes we give off to others.
I think it's hard to also see outside of our own versions of the truth.

But if we think about it, for us to be able to truly understand others we need to understand ourselves.
When we find we rarely trust, like, or understand ourselves; how can we do the same for others?

I wonder if one day human kind will be able to look outside of themselves, and see the world through unveiled eyes.

I got one of my dermals out today. I am miserable about it. Learned a lot of new info about them. But at least I know that considering their life spans I have done pretty well with them. I might replace it. I still have the other three, I feel naked and unbalanced. My boyfriend does not really consider it worth it since these piercing are known for not being user friendly but...I am not sure how I feel about not having them. Not positively, that is for sure.

I really want to see Ballet Arizona do Sleeping Beauty on February 13. Hopefully, the tickets are not too costly. I would be so pleased to hear Tchaikovsky's work live, with the grace and beauty of the dancers giving it even more life. I wish my boyfriend could see what I see when I watch ballet.

How I miss dancing.

Hello Kitty band-aid on my wound. Oh Oh Kitty I love you!

AFI

Last night was the AFI concert. I attended it with my boyfriend, my first show with him. It was incredible, to say the least. We had some pizza prior to the show that was quite delicious. Then headed on our way to the theatre. Of course, as most people know driving terrifies me. I have been driving for little over a year now, with little improvement. He says I am doing better but, I am not so sure I agree. That is why I was oh so excited to find us amidst massive road construction, and needed roads or exits being closed and rerouted. Such luck! The show was held at a venue where I have been to more times, than any other. An unexpected one at that, as it is not an arena. Though, AFI has never been much of an arena band. Last night solidifying that opinion, as a fact, in my mind. Their performance, was far more than satisfying. We parked probably over a mile from the show (though it felt like more the first time we walked it). I figured why pay for parking when I have two feet, and a limited budget. Haha, my mother told me I was "el cheapo". Perhaps she is correct with such an assessment. All I know is, I would rather save 5 dollars for something worthwhile, than spend it when I am fully capable of using my two little legs to traipse a mile or so around town. It was a much nicer walk after the show. Strangely enough, as tired as we were, and dehydrated, it seemed an easier more relaxing walk. The cool air, the night sky, the lights shining over the lake. It was quite beautiful, so serene. It was nice to have that time to discuss the show as well. I cannot stress how nice it is, to have someone to talk about this band with. A band that has been an integral part of my life since junior high. A band I have experienced much harassment and hardships for caring so much about. I think for some people it is hard to accept, that just because our passions are not the same, does not entitle you to mock another person's. Different things bring people happiness. Why would you ever feel the need to trump that? Anyway, I digress.

Anyone can tell you, AFI is my most beloved band for various reasons. I could go on forever about them but I will save that for another night. One thing I do know for sure is music has a power to connect people. A power to change people. A power to help people. It has been around for as long as we have. Longer, if you listen to the sounds of the earth as the soundtrack to the natural world's life cycle. There are people who live without it, my mother for example, and it blows my mind. To live without something that to me is as necessary as a beating heart. To close your eyes, feel the sounds course through you. I cannot imagine another reality, the quiet is astounding... but to have no music, no heart? I cannot imagine it. I had not been to a show in a long time. I do hope to attend another soon. I think not going to shows for as long as I have gone without them... about a year according to my man. Unacceptable! Just far too unacceptable.

My top concerts ever, last night included would be: AFI playing with the Cult, X Japan at the Tokyo Dome, as well as seeing The Academy Is... for the first time.

There is one thing I wish I could say to all concert goers. Or rather the ones that irk my goat! When a show is sold out, at a small venue, and for a rather large band... just because you are pushing and shoving and being an all around jerk with all your might does NOT mean you will be able to compress every person in that building into a small enough particle of matter for you to make it to the front of the stage. Not only that, if you were able to get there, the band cannot see you. They will not stare lovingly into your eyes no matter how hard you try for the sole fact that they CANNOT SEE YOU. With all those lights, and all that they are doing on that stage they are far to preoccupied with what they are doing to begin with, to worry about who is in the crowd. From all my experiences on stage, you cannot see anyone. Dancing onstage is not that much different from a musical performance. Nor do musicians have better eyesight that they can see through the glare of those lights. Focus on the performance, give people personal space to breathe, and enjoy the show. Stop being a jerk, stop shoving, and for crying out loud quit crowd surfing. You want to stage dive by all means, but honestly crowd surfers, you are an irksome crowd. Anyway, enough negativity.

Oh, if I have any readers out there, which I doubt but anywho...... I made one of those formspringme things?
Here's the link for anyone interested: http://www.formspring.me/karrokick I will answer all questions, because the site seems like a very fun thing to do. I have also realised I do not like the home network shopping channels my television has. The announcers irritate me.

My boyfriend would not be pleased if he knew I were awake right now... when I have to be up for work tomorrow. Perhaps, I will write a nicer blog tomorrow. My brain has been on over drive lately. If you cannot tell I am having some difficulty forming sentences. Anywho, sleep well all, I wish you peace.

Mentos. Think Fresh.

Today is another morose day.
I am currently cooking dinner.
Mashed tatoes with corn.
Fries.
Bbq ribs vegan style.
Let's see if it makes me sick!

-I hate cooking sometimes. But mostly it is because I do NOT enjoy eating.
I guess there is not much I can do for now.
Also, doing dishes are not nice. DX-

I have to admit something...
I truly enjoy lady gaga's music. >_>
Some of it I must admit is quite crazy pants but I really enjoy it.

I am also not sure how to take my new pills.
Guess I will have to read the instructions.
Yay, bilinguality. I realise that is not a word but it SHOULD be a word.
Bilinguality: pertaining to or consisting of someone with the ability to speak two languages.
Wakakaka.

It has been a long busy week at work.
Yes, I do realise it is only Tuesday.
Now figure out how I feel...
Have you figured it out? Oh yeah, now multiply it by ten.
That is how I will be feeling in school...with maybe a 30 instead of ten multiple.

Anyway, I am still loving Professor Layton's second installment.
I truly wish we got them sooner...though having them every couple of years is rather nice gives you a break and the WANT of it gets stronger. Haha, I am a neeerd I know.

I hope soon to finish reading Emma. I forgot that my coworker/friend wanted to borrow it.
Maybe I will finish it prior to finishing Becoming Jane Eyre.
That way I can tell you guys what I think! You know... I need to get better at reading one book at a time.
No wonder my head is a jumbled mess. I am filled with plot lines from everything like Dracula to...The Pajama Girls of Lambert Sqaure.

Well we'll see how it goes.
I am so tired lately.
Reading is not as enjoyable as it once was...my head is always pounding. Makes it just a tad hard to focus.

Mert...I should use better grammar in my blogs.
I really should not hit the ENTER key as willy nilly as I tend to...we will see how that goes as well.

As for now: I am enjoying Becoming Jane Eyre.
Will finish Emma.
Will finish Professor Layton...
Will probably never finish Scribblenauts without a guide.
-_- Oh yeah I am that angry with it, HAHAHA!

Wow.

I don't know what I was thinking.
I really don't.

It's time for a revamp.

Meowza.

きょはカロと母を買い物をしました
母はとても可愛いですね。
ショッピングはたのしですね～

I really believe if you change yourself, you can change your surroundings.
By changing your surroundings you can change your community.
When you change your community you take one step closer to helping change the world.

Any nay-sayers can shush because I won't hear it.
One person can make a difference.
All it takes is one person to create a revolution.
One person here, one person there; becomes more and more.
It's simple maths.

Anywhozzle,
I absolutely ADORE Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box.
I will probably go play it some more soon!
I think I was even getting my mother into it a bit.
It's exactly the type of game I feel she'd enjoy because of her mathematical brain.
She does think if it was in Spanish she'd do better though.

Went to the mall with her today.
Hanging out with my mumasita is supep fun!
I bought a nice green top, similar to a blue top I own. But my mother felt I should get the green one and she should come back for the red so we can match, haha.
I got some new pants *much needed* but then realised I've become quite plump.
I truly need to start my old exercise regime.
I feel being a size 8 is completely inexcusable when my body doesn't evenly become rotund just the lower quadrant of my posterior and legs. Oy vey.

きょのいちばのおんがくです：
I am currently addicted to this song:


He's an artist I feel has such an endearing and strong voice.

I hope you all had a wonderful start to your new year.
Reading your blogs should be quite nice.

またね、
カロ