Hot and Cold.

Today was one of those days.
But it feels like one of those days has been going on for weeks.

Interview tomorrow.

Might go apply for the Mode on Thursday at 11:15AM.
It's our schools magazine. I guess they need a lot of writers.
Roomie thinks I should do it. Man, what a rejection if I don't, haha.

My body can't decide the temperature.
I hope I haven't caught anything.
I'm going to get something to drink and head for bed.
I need to get up early to prepare for 2 workshops and the interview and tidy up my assignment Thursday.

I want to be a real lifestyle lolita.
I want to be demure.
I want talent.

Migraine.

So, I accomplished no sketching yesterday.
Today is my last day to be able to procrastinate and I cannot recall what the assignment was in the first place.

I have a migraine causing my left eye to feel like it's been stabbed. Multiple times.
Though, I hope that it will start to subside shortly as I really have wasted enough of my day doing nothing as it is.

Next time our roommate decides to raise the thermostat to 75 degrees when she crawls into the apartment at god knows when; there will be hell.
Day 1: Agreement was made to keep at 65 during the evening.
Therefore you need to STOP SHUTTING OUR BEDROOM DOOR AND RAISING IT TO WHATEVER DEGREE YOU STOP AT. 75 is not even the worst it's been. It was 80 one night.
80 DEGREES? Quit turning the AC off you disrespectful tart.

I really need to not blog when I am crotchety.
Caro

PS I had a chance to confront her about the AC and I chickened out like a little buffoon..... =_=

Pretty Little Things.

I have just updated the layout of my blog, and used one of the new offered templates because I actually think it's quite lovely. Besides it's time for a change.

I have also created a Polyvore account into which I have published two new sets. You can find an image link in the above left corner.

School has been a tad hectic. But I feel I have learned a lot. We get a three week vacation coming up mid September and I am quite excited.

I was recently hired at Express my first day of work is on Saturday. I have an upcoming interview on Wednesday with the Limited along with my roommate. Cross your fingers for us!

My sewing class I feel is my favourite. The most interesting and challenging. I feel I have grown in leaps and bounds and hope that my blouse at the end of this quarter comes out wonderfully.

I need to finish one last set of two paragraphs describing the zeitgeist of the times. Then my History of Costume notebook will be complete. Hopefully, at that point I can move forward into the final painting for my Colour and Design Theory course. Then of course last minute sketches like always for FS1 class, haha.

I hope everyone is well.
またね
Caro

Frustration.

The school is being of no help in getting me my insurance reactivated.
Though my adviser is nice and always offering to help, she doesn't pull through like other students' advisers.
Also, never heard back from housing.
I'm getting really upset about the way a lot of things are going.

Goal: FIND JOB FAST
FIND APARTMENT
SURVIVE FIRST QUARTER

Sigh.
I feel as though my life is still in shambles,
as much as it has ever been.

Sometimes.

I do wonder, if I will ever deserve, any of it.
Who am I to think that one day...
One day someone will choose me.
Someone will think I am special.
I am worth it.
Me, above anyone else.

Who am I to think, love is real?

Studying.

I am studying Colour and Design Theory through a book called: Design Basics.
Needless to say, I do not enjoy the way it is written.
I also feel I cannot grasp this work of art: http://www.duvekot.ca/michiel/archives/2squares.png
What the artist is trying to say. Or why it is a work of art in general.
Maybe someone can explain to me?

I am going to do what Zefrank recommended oh so long ago.
Read.
Read next day, while taking notes.
Apply.

I think that will be the best way to absorb all this information.
Giving me time tonight to cut out the rest of my patterns and paint more primary colour blocks.

Went to the store and the hole punch doesn't work.
Yay! for broken purchases.
Our toaster also doesn't work :D
SO AWESOME!

My feet are killing me.
Today is cranky day.

Going to go cut out some patterns.
Maybe update again later with a less grumpy post.

Day 1.

Lots of things to carry down 6 blocks and up 5 flights of stairs.
I am exhausted and my feet are killing me.

I am scared.
But I am also not scared.

I think I can do this.
Please everyone, have faith in me.
Give me strength to do this.

Because I am nervous.

I need this.

I need a success.

I need to feel good once again.

I need to do something with my life.

Everyone keeps saying,
"Be selfish Caro. It's your turn to be selfish."
But I don't know how to do it.
I don't know how to be selfish.

I really wish someone was holding my hand right now.
That I could crawl into bed with them.
Not be afraid of the nightmares and monsters.
Listen to their heart and hear them breathe.

I just want to sleep and wake up knowing.
Knowing this was the right decision.
I just want to wake up, in loving arms.

When did I become so pathetic?
I never needed anyone other than myself.
Who am I now?

In a little home by the sea, there she wished she could be set free.
But little monsters by the sea, they never find a true way to be, anything other than little monsters by the sea.

Who will show you the way to happiness?
Because the person holding the light, has to be you.

Maybe if you close your eyes,
close your eyes.
Close. Your. Eyes.