Friday, July 9, 2010

Day 1.

Lots of things to carry down 6 blocks and up 5 flights of stairs.
I am exhausted and my feet are killing me.

I am scared.
But I am also not scared.

I think I can do this.
Please everyone, have faith in me.
Give me strength to do this.

Because I am nervous.

I need this.

I need a success.

I need to feel good once again.

I need to do something with my life.

Everyone keeps saying,
"Be selfish Caro. It's your turn to be selfish."
But I don't know how to do it.
I don't know how to be selfish.

I really wish someone was holding my hand right now.
That I could crawl into bed with them.
Not be afraid of the nightmares and monsters.
Listen to their heart and hear them breathe.

I just want to sleep and wake up knowing.
Knowing this was the right decision.
I just want to wake up, in loving arms.

When did I become so pathetic?
I never needed anyone other than myself.
Who am I now?

In a little home by the sea, there she wished she could be set free.
But little monsters by the sea, they never find a true way to be, anything other than little monsters by the sea.

Who will show you the way to happiness?
Because the person holding the light, has to be you.

Maybe if you close your eyes,
close your eyes.
Close. Your. Eyes.

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