Friday, May 28, 2010


I have been hurt.
In more ways than one.
I told myself I would not talk to him, but I cannot.
He means too much to me.
I am too worried about him.
But I cannot stop the tears.
I have never felt such pain, in my life.
I thought I was smarter than this.
I thought what we had was real.

I have no clue what is going on with him.
But he will not tell me.
I wish he would just talk to me.
There is no reason we cannot be friends.

I just want him to be happy.
I want him to be loved, it does not matter by who.
Just love, like he deserves.
I want him to succeed.
I want him to know that his friends care.
His family cares.
I care.

Something is wrong, I just want to help.
But I am hurt.
I made him hate me.
I believed a lie.
I was too trusting of someone I never should have trusted.
I did not trust him, like I should have.
I accused him.

But it hurts.
He no longer cares about me.
He no longer respects me.
I do not know what I could have done;
or what has happened, for things to get this way.
This bad.
This fast.

I wish I could move on.
But I have no idea how.
I wish I could let go.
But I miss him too much.

I guess it's true,
I am not worth loving.
I am a an ugly monster.

I want.
To die.

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